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February 22, 2007
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
How many times have I thought: If only my son would pick up his room, get good grades, wash the car, empty the dishwasher, not procrastinate, wash his hair, wipe his feet, pick up the toys in the yard, come home on time, call if he is going to be late, get more exercise, play less computer, watch fewer television shows, chew with his mouth closed, use a napkin, nearly food his clean laundry, put his laundry away, get off the phone, call his grandmother, practice his saxophone/piano, write thank-you notes, stop biting his nails, scrub his face, move his shoes, watch his language?
Sometimes I feel as if the only way he can show his love for me is to do these things – all of them – daily – without being nagged. Sadly, it seems, I look for love in the completion of tasks.
In fact, what would be proved if he did complete all of the above? We’d have a cleaner house, car, and yard. He’d have cleaner hair, face, body – and mouth. His grandmother would think highly of him. His musical ability would improve. He’d earn scholarships to the college of his choice.
But is this love? Or even success? According to Dr. Mel Levine, “grades in school are not a predictor of success in life.” Then why do I attach such importance to them? Am I looking for love in all the wrong places?
Today I vow to look for love in all the RIGHT places – in the hugs (no matter how brief), in the laughter and smiles (no matter how fleeting) and I will appreciate my children – being themselves.
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